


Old Mill Bar & Grill

by theneonpineapple



Series: Welcome to Kepler [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, Pine Guard Bonding, Slice of Life, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 08:46:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17639576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theneonpineapple/pseuds/theneonpineapple
Summary: The Pine Guard socializes between hunts in a local bar.





	Old Mill Bar & Grill

**Author's Note:**

> Small warning for more gossip about a minor character's sex life. There's not much else to do in Kepler apparently??
> 
> Also canon-typical descriptions of anxiety from Aubrey.

**OLD MILL BAR & GRILL**  
10 Mill St, Kepler, WV 24927

Old Mill Bar & Grill had rustic charm, gone over a few decades. The floors were slightly tacky from spilled drinks and the walls were covered in dark vertical wood paneling, cluttered with taxidermied animals and pictures of game animals and fish which had been caught in the area. There were at least five singing fish. Mood lighting was provided by florescent lights which had been left with only one of two bulbs, and neon beer signs. A pool table languished in one corner. On one wall, an enormous stone fireplace dominated, unlit given the warm summer evening.

Some seating was available at the bar, along with clusters of bar height tables around the edges of the bar, and towards the center picnic-style tables with individual benches, all in the same slightly battered pine wood. None of it had anything with cushions.

Aubrey sank into one of the bar stools with a groan. She'd healed up pretty well from the monster fight, which was a very weird thing to think about still, but now she had a bunch of sore muscles and bruises.

Ned clapped her on the shoulder when he came in. "You look like you could use a stiff drink," he said.

"Oh, I don't know how stiff," she said. "I'm not big on, uh, heavy drinking."

"Very wise, keep the mind sharp. Might I suggest a hard apple cider?"

"That actually sounds good, I'll order one when he comes around. Thanks, Ned."

"But of course," he said, tone magnanimous.

She rolled her eyes. He was so over the top, like a classic magician, and she found herself feeling very much like she'd found a kindred spirit in the older man. She saw a flicker of movement over his shoulder and sat up straighter. "Duck!" She called.

Duck saw them sitting at the bar and lifted his hand in a wave. A few other people had ducked their heads down when she spoke, including Ned, and were now recovering. Some looked annoyed, but mostly sheepish as they, too, nodded to Duck. Who barely seemed to notice them, even as he greeted them in passing. "Evening, hey, hello."

The bartender immediately came around to their side as Duck pulled out a chair. "Hey, Duck. Been a while - you staying for a drink?"

"That's the plan, Joey. Uh, Joey, this is Aubrey Little, and you know Ned Chicane."

"Good evening, barkeep," said Ned, in a booming sort of voice.

Aubrey waved, only barely remembering to suppress her instinct to use magic to set her hand ablaze. "Heyyy."

"Visiting?"

"I think I'm gonna stick around for a while," she said.

"Huh," said Joey. For some reason, his eyes flicked to Ned at that. "Well, welcome to Kepler. First drink is on me. You still drinking Shirley Temples, Duck?"

"Aw, hell, I guess so," he said. "Why change now, right?"

Ned chimed in, "I'd like just a splash of whiskey, since I am driving, and the young lady would like your finest apple cider."

The bartender looked at her.

"Yeah, uh, what. What he said."

"You like sweet drinks or something with kick?"

She did some quick math on when she'd taken her meds last. "Uh, whichever has the lowest alcohol content."

"I got a Woodchuck that'll do ya fine, hon."

"Thanks – Joey, right?"

"That's right," he said. He nodded to Duck. "Comin right up, Duck."

"Thanks, man."

"Do you know everyone in town?" Aubrey asked.

Ned turned to him too. "More importantly, do they really all like you?"

"I dunno, guys, I know most folks just around – sometimes I meet people I don't strictly know, but yeah, I mean, I've lived here my whole life. And they don't all like me, Ned, they just know I'm good for my tab."

"Ooh, harsh," Aubrey grinned.

"You know, Duck, it's usually a bad sign when the bartender knows you by name."

"Shit, true. What's the story there, Duck?"

"Uh, I went to school with Joey."

"No way, he looks like, way older than you."

Duck shrugged. "I got a baby face, I guess."

"Joey's a hard smoker," said Ned, "Duck's just too polite to say."

"Huh. I gotta ask, Ned, why doesn't he seem to like you?"

"Oh, well, I wouldn't say he doesn't like me—"

Joey came back and set Duck and Aubrey's drinks up and walked away without a word about Ned's. Aubrey looked at the drinks, and then the empty bar in front of Ned, and then back at Ned pointedly.

"—just that some people don't appreciate my particular charms as much as others."

"Some folks don't like the image presented of places like this. Like we're a bunch of gullible idiots buyin' hoaxes wholesale. They've been trying to shut down the Cryptonomica for years. Only gotten worse since Ned took over."

"Ah, yes. It hardly helps that I'm something of a newcomer myself."

No wonder Joey had looked at Ned when she said she was thinking of staying. As if she'd summoned him by thinking his name, Joey returned with Ned's whiskey. "All right, Duck?" He asked.

"It's good," Duck assured him.

"And how're you liking the cider?"

"It's really great," she said, and took a sip a second later because she hadn't actually tried it yet. It _was_ good. "I don't think I knew you weren't a local, Ned, but I guess it makes sense. Where are you from?" she asked. She immediately regretted it. People tended to ask that back.

"Oh, here and there, all over, really. You?"

"North," she said firmly. "Up north."

If Duck found their exchange odd in its non-specifics, he didn't show it.

And Aubrey took another drink and made herself relax her spine a bit. She could be teammates, friends even, with these guys without telling them everything about herself all at once.

She lifted her drink. "Well, here's to monsters, right, guys?"

"Not exactly discreet," said Duck, but he lifted his too.

"I like it," said Ned.

They clinked their drinks together.

* * *

"This is a tradition," said Aubrey. They'd taken over a picnic table. "We win, we get drinks as a group."

"I don't think twice makes a tradition," said Duck. "And it's not like we can get drinks if we lose," he added.

Ned waved him off. "A tradition in the making, Duck. And we're not going to lose. You're tough, Aubrey is magic, and me, I'm wily."

"Something like that."

A woman approached their table, and beamed when she saw Duck. "Ranger Newton, I haven't seen you in here for a while."

Duck's expression got a bit tight. "Hi there, Monica."

"And you must be Aubrey."

"That's right," Aubrey said.

"I've heard about you. You're staying at the lodge, aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Ma'am!" Monica laughed. She turned to Ned. "I saw your Bigfoot video. Looks real convincing."

"It was a great advancement for cryptozoological research everywhere," said Ned.

"Of course, of course. Did y'all want a small plate or are you sticking to drinks?"

"I would love some onion rings and a Pepsi," said Aubrey. "Guys?"

They placed their orders, and Duck finally relaxed a little when she walked away.

"What was that?"

"I, uh, mighta had to kick her out of the park once."

Aubrey leaned closer. "Why?"

"A violation of – a parking ticket – meter – no, there's no meters – a permit? Fuck. I can't say."

"Ah," Ned nodded, wise. "A true gentleman, Duck."

Aubrey did some math from that. "Lover's Lane?"

"I can't say! Fuck! Please don't ask! I don't want to disclose her personal—"

"Very gentlemanly," Aubrey assured him, patting his arm. "Not your fault you can't keep a secret worth a damn."

"I can keep secrets!"

"Not very long, clearly."

"I got some destiny crap no one in my life knows about."

"Yeah, cos no one ever asks you straight up, hey, Duck, you got a secret destiny? If they did you'd be toast."

"You know, for most people, honesty is a virtue."

"It is. It's just also very, very inconvenient in our line of work."

Duck gestured to Ned.

"Oh, that's easy," said Aubrey. "He makes it a spectacle and so no one looks at it. He always sounds like he's lying. He could tell the whole bar and no one would believe him. Sometimes magicians draw your attention to exactly what they don't want you noticing. Makes it that much harder to see the big picture."

"And Aubrey here would make an excellent businesswoman. Her magician's patter would do wonders for a sale."

"I'm kinda an open book with a lot of stuff, Duck, don't worry about it. 'Cept I kinda forget things are secret, or feel real bad about keeping them."

"Yeah," said Duck. "Well, no, I dunno. Sometimes things have to be secrets for the betterment of everyone, Aubrey. Like this shit. Y'know?"

"I know, but. I dunno, I'm lucky everyone I know really well here already knows, cos I'd hate to worry about people getting mad at me because I kept it a secret. Like with superheroes. I would be so bad at not telling Lois Lane."

"If I were Batman, I'd tell everyone," said Ned.

"I'd never become Batman," said Duck, shortly.

Monica gave him a weird look, overhearing. She presented them with their drinks and a few baskets of deep fried bar food, and Aubrey's stomach gave an audible growl.

"Adderall's wearing off," she said, "my brain is finally realizing it's hungry."

"Ah, first a toast," Ned said.

They all lifted their glasses, and Ned said, "To water monsters!" in a voice loud enough to carry.

"Fuck," said Duck, and drank.

"To Nessie!" Aubrey cheered, and drank as well.

* * *

"You sure you're recovering okay?" Aubrey asked Ned.

He waved her off. "Absolutely."

"It's just, you're kinda, drinking a lot more than usual."

"Yeah, well. Long week."

"Hey," she said. "I'm really sorry about the Continental. You did a really good thing, and it sucks that you lost it cos of that."

"No good deed," said Ned.

"Well, if there's anything, uh, anything I can do to help."

"I'm fine, Aubrey."

"Oh-kay. Uh. I'm gonna. Go to the bathroom."

Her hands were shaking as she slid from the chair and made a beeline for the hall where the bathroom and a payphone lurked. Did Ned blame her for him getting hurt? Was he mad at her now and just playing jovial as ever? She went to splash water on her face. He was just cranky. Upset over his car. People were allowed to be in bad moods. He said he didn't blame her.

She toweled her face dry, ruffled her curls, and promptly nearly ran into Duck leaving the men's room. He looked like he'd been doing the same thing.

"Hey," she said. "Hey, Duck, listen—"

"Is this about you almost crushing me with a sign."

"Yeah. Kinda."

"Aubrey. I don't care. Just don't – don't do it again, cause now you will definitely kill me."

"Right."

"I need a drink. Shit, can I get hangovers now? I need to eat better. Fuck!"

"You couldn't get – wait, Duck, that doesn't make sense, I feel like maybe some of this is psychological—"

"No. I'm really just. Normal now. No more tough, no more cool, just regular normal Duck."

"Well. No big destiny – look, let's not get overheard. I don't want a repeat of the Keith incident. And I don't think you should drink right now, I'll already have to call Kirby to take Ned home."

Duck leaned past her and looked at Ned, who was nursing another glass. "So much for your tradition."

"We're still doing toasts, just. Go sit down. I'll get you a Shirley Temple."

"Make it dirty."

"Go sit, Duck."

Joey was behind the bar again.

"Can I get a Shirley Temple aaaaaand make that three of em, actually?"

"Three?"

"Yeah, I'm cutting Ned off. Duck I'm cutting off preemptively."

He looked at her curiously as he poured grenadine and scooped cherries. "I know Duck's sister. You ain't Jane, and Jane ain't got kids. And you look nothing like Chicane. So who are you to these guys?"

"A friend," she said. "I think."

"Kinda an odd bunch, aren't you?"

"Yeah," she said. Her mouth was dry. They were an odd bunch. They were falling apart, too.

"I don't know how, or why. But you seem to work well, together, for whatever it's worth. I heard the three of y'all saved lives at the funicular. And the general store."

"Ah, well, we started looking at reports of minor problems and realized, uh, well, we think there were. Tremors. In the ground. That caused the sinkhole, and we weren't sure yet, the sign at general store got us thinking initially, and on a hunch we decided to check the funicular just to be sure. And it was. A really good guess. I'm so glad we got everyone out."

He set the drinks up. "On the house. And I'll send over some nachos."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Call it, I dunno, tremors, or a good hunch, or whatever. Seems kinda like fate to me. What else woulda brought you three together?"

She smiled to herself, thinking about all of it.

"Buddy. You don't even know."

Aubrey brought the drinks back and cleared Ned's empty glasses away. "To the winds of fate," she said, holding up her glass.

"Seriously," Duck groused. "Seems a bit dark, considerin'."

"It brought us together, guys. Fate, or the universe, or something. I mean. Ned was in the woods right when Barclay needed him, the night Mama found me, and you got chased by that thing, Duck, right into Sylvain and came out in the middle of everything. Destiny or no destiny. We were brought together by something, chance or luck or the universe, and we saved some lives, and kicked some ass. So. Here's to fate, for bringing me you guys and the Lodge."

"To some weird shit," Duck clinked his glass to hers. "And saving people."

Ned shook his head. His expression was kinda weird, but he'd been kinda weird all week, like he was doing an impression of himself. "To crazy coincidences."

"Ugh, skeptic."

"Bite your tongue," said Ned.

She took a drink, and the sweet cheery flavor spread a warmth in her chest despite the chill of the drink and the midwinter air fighting the roaring fire in the fireplace. She looked at Duck. "Hey, why is this place called the Old Mill?"

"Well, that fireplace is actually built with stones from the mill building that was thataways a bit, where this offshoot of the Greenbrier used to run, but the interesting bit is—" Duck launched into some town history, and she settled back to half-listen.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i guess, in true taz fashion, if you want me to name a townsperson after you hmu in the comments
> 
> @keplersheetz on tunglr


End file.
